40 More Years

They say that 40 is the new 30....I don't know. I have looked at some recent pictures of myself and have found a significant amount of lines/wrinkles around my eyes. I mean, significant. Compared to pictures taken just two years ago. My friend said it is because I have kids. Now, I would have expected my eyes to look worse a few years ago. If anything, I should look better, right? Happy as can be. Two great kids. A husband that is better than anyone I could have ever wished for...

It's just gravity, and aging. And all that sun in my young days. I would only use SPF 4 (which I don't think they even make anymore because it is basically a death wish) on my face because I wanted to fry to get that deep dark tan that comes afterward. Last week when we took the kids to the beach I was slathered with SPF 30 and wore a big hat to make sure I didn't get any sun. Note to self: the sun that reflects off of the water very strong, so reapply SPF even if you are shaded by a hat. My face burned a little bit and it gave me a sick feeling inside.

I feel the sense that I should be more focused on preservation. As evidenced by my recent search for eye wrinkle cream...and purchase of new moisturizer with higher SPF. I have also had Alzheimer's on my mind. My grandmother had it in the late 80's and eventually died from related complications. I have an increased risk because of my grandmother, and additional risk factors come from high blood pressure and plaque build up in the arteries (which I don't know that I have but I bet I am headed that way). Made me think twice before I grabbed the butter this last week. I need to go back to margarine. Damned HBO and their brilliant 4 part documentary on Alzheimer's. Now every time I forget something I am going to be wondering if I am showing signs.  

I think that my biggest fears about aging have to do with my kids. Yes, I go there. Will I live to see my kids get married? Will I live to see my grand children? Will I be the oldest mom at little league? Will my kids be embarrassed of me? Will I look like their grandparent? I can just see me trying to dress all hip so that Lily and Noah's friends don't think of me as being old.

Chances are, half of my life is behind me. And that is scary because it hasn't been that long. It took 40 years to find true joy, happiness and love. It took 40 years for me to get to the point where I love my life and who I am. And though I don't dwell on it (you may think otherwise because of the tone of this post), I have been thinking lately that I need to make an effort to make every day count. I need to enjoy every smile and laugh with my kids. I need to concentrate on being healthy so that I can enjoy the next 40 years. I need to make certain that my husband knows that I love and appreciate him more every day. And I need to be thankful for the wonderful life that is mine.

Comments

[Lisa Doget]

How you and your family have grown! I still check in on the blog now and then, but have been so busy. I would still love to meet you and your kids. Logan has some mild delays so we have been busy with that diagnosis, but to tell you the truth I don't care. He is happy, healthy, loved, and getting the best in every way...the rest will be OK. I worry a bit now and then, but mostly enjoy. I wanted to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY and I get it. I am 38 and attending my 20 year reunion on Saturday...the years show much more since IVF, adoption, kids, life. You are more beautiful now than ever, because now you can see yourself as your children do. Blessings, Lisa Doget and family
(Marley, Logan, and Daddy Dave in the IE).

[Sue]

"I have been thinking lately that I need to make an effort to make every day count. I need to enjoy every smile and laugh with my kids. I need to concentrate on being healthy so that I can enjoy the next 40 years. I need to make certain that my husband knows that I love and appreciate him more every day. And I need to be thankful for the wonderful life that is mine."

I think you do all of those things and MORE...

((hugs))