I am racking my brain to try to remember when it happened....how I found the iVillage message boards and my second family. I think it was when Ro and I decided to try to have a baby and I quit the pill and was searching for pregnancy symptoms on the net. I came across iVillage and there was an "Are You Pregnant?" board that I scoured looking for answers.
Later, I found the board for Intra Uterine Insemination and other TTC--trying to conceive-- boards. I then joined the IVF board where I stayed for a long time trying to have a baby. It was there that I met some amazing women with whom I have enjoyed incredibly close friendships with over the last five years. We have shared tragic lows and the greatest joys...there to root each other on, and hold each others' hands during the dark times. I treasure these friendships. During the most difficult times in my life, these women were there for me in a way that no other friends could be. That is not to say that my IRL --in real life-- friends were not there for me because they were and I love them very much. But my cyber friends and I shared a bond through infertility with our difficult and heart wrenching journeys to have children. So when Nathaniel and then Ava died, they came to my rescue in a way that no one else could. They helped shoulder my burden and I believe that it was the community of women that I was a part of that helped me to survive. That may sound dramatic. But there were days that I was certain that my body would quit and I would die, my grief was so deep.
Then my cyber friends became incredible cheerleaders. From the day I announced that Ro and I were considering adoption, the support began and has never stopped. They, along with all of my IRL friends and family, traveled along with us on our journey to bring Lily and Noah home. Lily and Noah's homecoming was a triumph for us all.
Soon I get to meet a group of my cyber friends in Las Vegas for a long weekend. I cannot express the excitement that I am feeling to finally be able to wrap my arms around these incredible women and tell them in person what an impact they have had on my life. And tell them thank you for their friendship during the good times. But more than that, thank you for their friendship during the bad times.
Not everyone can make it, and for that I am very sad. This trip will not be the same without some of my friends, but as a whole, this trip will represent all of my cyber friendships. For those of you who can't make it, and for those cyber friends of mine who are not part of this iVillage group but with whom I have been friends for a long time...since I may never be able to tell you in person...thank you for being there during the good times. And the bad times.
For those of you who will be in Las Vegas soon....VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!!!
